Monday, January 24, 2011

3 5 , ,

let the people say that im obsess about goin home so what! duh! who wana stay here in this shit-hole so far away from anything. 35 days and counting, gosh! i just can t wait to get home, i think ive gone crazy about it. im always tease people all the time, laughing nonstop. always jumpin around. i even talk and acually be friend with students i nvr even know was here. huh! wat the hell kan ? anyway, i have to admit that im gonna miss everybody here, especially my chemist tcer aka mentor aka 2nd mom aka mdm suhada, my english tcer, mdm rose the best and coolest tcer in kmkn , my classmate whom i hate and love at the same time haha, but i'll nver miss this college though, it will nvr be in my memory. just the people in it. haaah!,

35 dayssssss!


Thursday, January 20, 2011

coUld It be . . .

On the first day God created the dog. God said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. I will give you a life span of twenty years." The dog said, "That's too long to be barking. Give me ten years and I'll give you back the other ten."
So God agreed.

On the second day God created the monkey. God said, "Entertain people, do monkey tricks and make them laugh. I'll give you a twenty-year life span." The monkey said, "Monkey tricks for twenty years? I don't think so. Dog gave you back ten, so that's what I'll do too, okay?"
And God agreed.

On the third day God created the cow. "You must go to the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves, and give milk to support the farmer. I will give you a life span of sixty years."
The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. Let me have twenty and I'll give back the other forty."
And God agreed again.

On the fourth day God created man. God said, "Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. I'll give you twenty years."
Man said, "What? Only twenty years? Tell you what, I'll take my twenty, and the forty the cow gave back, and the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back, that makes eighty, okay?"

Okay," said God, "You've got a deal."

So that is why the first twenty years we eat, sleep, play, and enjoy ourselves; the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family; the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren; and the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

Life has now been explained to you.


la mia pAssionE . .

ever since im in kmkn, my taste buds can barely open itself to the dishes that has been prepared for us by the college. back home , i usually cook my own lunch and dinner but here, i have to either take it or leave it. i am stuck here with foods that are not satisfying and thank god im got just another month to stay here. i miss the moment where i tossed that french toast in the frying pan, scramble the egg , boil the spaghetti, tossed the salad. i just cant wait to get back home . to make things worst , i have to left my passion at home whenever i come here bcoz there is not a single mall or even store that supply my one n only passion.


liFe . .

Sometimes people come into your life & you know right away that they were meant to be there, to serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson, or help you figure out who you are & or who you want to become You never know who these people may be (possibly your roommate, neighbor, professor, long lost friend, lover, or even a complete stranger), but when you lock eyes with them, you know at the very moment that they will affect your life in some profound way.
and sometime things will happen to you that may seem horrible, painful, & unfair at first, but in reflection you find that without overcoming these obstacles that you would have never realized your true potential, strength, will power, or heart
Everything happens for a reason. Nothing happens by chance or by mean of good luck. Illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness & sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of your soul. Without this small test, whatever they may be, life would be like a smoothly paved, straight, flat road to nowhere. It would be safe & comfortable, but dull and utterly pointless.
The people that you meet who affect your life, and the success and downfalls you experience, help to create who you are and who you will become Even the bad experiences are learned from. In fact, they are the most poignant ones.
If someone hurts you, betrays you, or breaks your heart, forgive them for they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious when you open your heart. If someone loves you, love them back unconditionally, not only because they love you, but because in a way, they are teaching you to love & how to open your heart & eyes to things.
Make everyday count. Appreciate every moment & take from those moments everything you could possibly can for you may never be able to experience it again. Talk to people that you have never talked to before & actually listen... Let yourself fall in love again, break free, and set your sights high. Hold your head up because you have every right too.
Tell yourself that you are a great individual & believe in yourself. For if you don't believe in yourself, it will be hard for others to believe in you. You can make your life anything you wish.....Create your own life & then go out & live it with absolutely NO REGRETS. Most importantly, if you love someone tell him or her, for you NEVER know what tomorrow may have in store. And learn a lesson in life each day you live.
Today is the tomorrow you were worried about yesterday.... Was it worth it?

Sunday, January 16, 2011

time t0 mAke misTakeS . . .

when we were young , people used to ask

"what do you want to be when you grow up?" 

and we said 
"pilot, lawyer,the prime minister, ..."

then when we get more mature, they asked again, and we said

"engineer, chef, event manager, ..."

as we grow older, they want some serious answer.

and so here goes,we said:

"the hell with it, i dont know .. 0.0' " 

we will never know what lies ahead, what we can do is plan. so, now is the time to make mistake, change courses, experience , thats what life is all about. experience. 

later when people ask again what are going to be. we dont have to think, we already know. 

sounds familiar huh. haha

anyway, i agree 100% with what she said. when i was little i always wanted to be a pilot. even though i am only 158 cm but i always excited when it comes to airplane.

during high school, i change my mind from being a pilot to become an engineer. the scientific knowledge fascinates me. however, in engineering school, i began to realize that the field dosent suites me.

i am an outgoing person. i like to socialize, travel a lot especially, meet people, learn about the world. i know , in engineering, i couldnt possibly do the stuff i like. i hate physics and math. even though that its the most important subject in the world rite? but now, i know that i dont want to "have" to do something instead, i "want" to do something. life is a challenge i know that but the challenge is what you make of it. if you have to do something , the challenge that u'll face gonna be a lot diffrent from the challenge of wanting to do something. it will be a fun challenge that you always waiting for , because its what you want to do.

so for me, i wana make a final judgment. after i finish foundation next month, i want to find a way to realize my 1 and only dream from i was young. to TRAVEL. i like to see the world. experience is what im looking for. this will be my goal for 2011. dont be afraid to do whats right for you. find is to enjoy it, not to suffer.


Tuesday, January 11, 2011

holDing oN . .

im holding on.

to something that is maybe pointless and worthless to others
but priceless to me.
life has kept you busy, but i'll never stop waiting for i know it will only be temporary .
nothing in this world that can bribe me on letting go of what im holding on rite now.
kill me, for that will be the only way i'll let go of it.

waiting for YOU is not a waste of time baby.


p/s : XOXOXOXOXXXXXX miss u la f

yoU unChained me . . . .

You changed my world with a blink of an eye
That is something that I can not deny
You put my soul from worst to best
That is why I treasure you my dearest 
You just don't know what you have done for me
You even pushed me to the best that I can be
You really are an angel sent from above
To take care of me and shower with love
When I'm with you I will not cry even a single a tear
And your touch have chased away all of my fear
You have given me a life that I could live worthwhile
It is even better everytime you smile
It so magical those things you've made
To bring back my faith that almost fade
Now my life is a dream come true
It all began when I was loved by you
Now I have found what I am looking for
It's you and your love and nothing more
Co'z you have given me this feeling of contentment
In my life something I've never felt
I wish I could talk 'til the end of day
But now I'm running out of things to say
So I'll end by the line you already know 
I LOVE YOU more than what I could show

Monday, January 10, 2011

a kIss frOm aFar

i looked up in the sky n i saw a bright star twinkling alone in that vast empty space.i cant imagine how lonely that star might be. just sat there alone with no others to accompany it. and then i turn around and i saw the moon. also alone sat there shining the earth with it's glowing light. and then i realized that the star and the moon, despite far away from each other, they still glow no matter what and i know they'll always appear together no matter what.stick together no matter what.

that is how i feel towards you 6. if you are reading this , know that i still n will forever n ever love you =) .
just remember that i'll be there for you and when the whole world's gone, u always have my shoulder to cry on.
i miss you

at Last !

hi evryone~~

it has been a few days since the last time i post. i've been very buzy lately with my kazen's wedding and boy it was superb. i'll remember the wedding till the day i die. it was very garden-ish and english style wedding. my kazen's dress was sooo AMAZING! it was the wedding of the decade thats for sure. hahaha, anyway now i am back in college , unfortunately. i miss home so much , despite all the troubles that my family are having rite now , i still miss my home. i just cant wait to wait till march . i cant wait get out of this "mud hole".

but, as usual , i miss my fren so much. i tot i could meet him in kl yesterday but i totally forgot that he is in ipoh and his next holiday is goin to be somewhere in the end of january i think. but i dont tink i can go home. i wanted to but ,,, i hope i can. it has been so long since the last time we've met and i actly wana say sory for taking his gf out without his permission. i know his mad at me, but he did'nt show it. i really wana make out with him .. ops! i mean make it up to him, after wht i've done. hahaha. till next post.


Thursday, January 6, 2011

its heaVen~

i've never been so myself ever since the last post i made here. its so amazing how the power of convince and believe can change u and your thoughts and how you feel. ever since i decided to act for my own and live for my own, evrythings just began to become clear to me. i woke up with a smile evryday and sleep soundly like a baby. i am great full that i took the first step and act . it really is a life changing experience. evrything in this world has been lay out for you and it is u who must take advantage upon it. remember, you just need to be u , yourself. dont be who you want to be just be yourself and you'll be amazed on how much you will accomplish just by doin that. find your passion and let that be your armor and who you are will be your greatest weapon. no one can touch you, no one can harm you. you are invincible.

cheers love,

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

mish you buddy!!

pojie!! i miss u larh. its has been a while kan . yeke? or is it that just yesterday we chatted? hahaha but biarlah i miss you ! im going back to kl this Thursday until sunday , just hope that u were there hehe . maybe later after my final i'll stay in ipoh for a couple of weeks just so that we could hang out =) ahaaaaaaaa cant wait to c u again =( eh btw, i miss that cute lil sis of yours hahahaha. 


y are they just listening.!!!????

huh! how could we know for sure whether someone truly understand us or just feeling sympathy because what we told them was sympathetic? for all this time, i've been talking to people that i thought i could trust , people that i thought could somehow understand me and support me on whatever decision i made but then i realize. if i were just talking and them listening, how could i be so sure that they even care. maybe they listen because they want to hear you in misery, depress and all that stuff. maybe that they were hoping that you talked to them so that they could spread it to evryone else about how deep shit you are in rite now. i once had a perfect world that i knew , it wouldn't go away but i did. then i realized that life is too short and too huge to have only 1 perfect world. i know that i can relieve that moment again but this time with the right person, at the right time and place. that is my dream. to be living in my own perfect world where evrything and everybody else is just my subconscious. THAT IS MY D.R.E.A.M.

its never easy for me to share this with people , koz people might take it as some silly milly imagination just because they believe that there can never be a PERFECT world. nothing is perfect as they say. not to me. no sir. to me, my dream is out there somewhere, just sitting there waiting for me, and only me to grasp it. and once i get it, BAAAAM! nothing else matter. when i was young, the adults always asked me what is my ambition when i grow up and i always say,

"a pilot. i wana be a pilot"

and the adults would say

"owh my lord a pilot? what a great ambition you have dear, hold on to it. never let go. if that is your dream then go for it"

i did hold to that ambition. i hold to that ambition so strong that it became my dream. and once i grew up, it shattered . because people no longer say what they say to you when you were young, instead, they rather

"owhmyzara~! a pilot? but u r so small! a pilot should be tall and handsome. how on earth you could be a pilot eh?"

heh! when you grew up, people no longer put high hope for you to fulfill your dreams, they more likely be happy to see you cleaning the sewer then having a dream. i once said to myself that i dont want to have any dreams or ambitions in my life so that if it doesn't come true, i wouldn't be so sad. but i was gratefully wrong. not having a dream or ambition is like not knowing why are you here in the first place. its like driving without a steering wheel, you just hit the gas and let it takes you anywhere. better die a thousand death then not having a single dream in life.

after a while i realize that having and holding a dream is easy but realizing it , now that's the tough part. its a race. people will do whatever it takes so that your dream could not be fulfill. and it is up to you to stand up and face them and say


i know, that i will never achieve my dream if i become the passenger. its time for me to become the driver of my own life. i decide when to make a turn, i decide when to hit the break and i decide when to hit the gas. 

i had enough , if what i am doing right now is not realizing my dream then i must stop. if i cannot stop the so be it. i will finish this journey to the very end but not with my heart in it. because my heart is awaiting for me out there with my dream. 

Shakespeare once said that this world is a stage of play and we all are the actor . he is right, damn right. its time for me to ACT!


Saturday, January 1, 2011

something To remEmber . .

gosh! im at KMKN already?? kenape cepat sgt la mase berlalu ni... hmm

anyway, it wasnt that hard for me to leave since my hope of seeing my best fren b4 i go has been fulfill, thanks pojie for the shirt i love it so much , it is priceless babe =))

the only thing that i regret is that when all my frens were celebrating in the clubs i was on board a bus on route to Kuala Nerang. to me, it just so wrong . the fb home page was fill with people updating their status about how amazing the party and the countdown was. i was actually quite amazed y most people went to La Queen last nite. haha nampak sgt mmg da nak kiamat.

but thanks to daniel, tak de la boring dalam bas tu. =))