Saturday, March 5, 2011

wheel of FATE

 life is full of surprise

How does it come to this?
Indeed that you can never predict the future and the only sane thing to do is plan for the worst. Because when the worst comes, you must be prepare both physically and most important, mentally. I just finished my foundation studies in kedah last Thursday, and the excitement was unimaginable. I was so excited that I packed all my things a week before the final exam. I can’t wait to get back home, having a nice long hot shower, sleep in that cold bed in my cozy little room and sleeping while listening to the radio on my laptop, online and chattin til late night. Ha ha. I cant believe that I was so na├»ve to expect that nothing has change back home. The confident and normal look In my parents faces was convincing enuf that I know back home nothing has change. However, I couldn’t help but noticed that they kept on saying that I shouldn’t be so excited to go back home. Anyone that has been away for 1 year will most probably be missing home so much and eagerly to get home. But my parents played it cool and slow. So as my brother. I asked him about school. About how does he go to school every day, then he said the same bus of course. Nice one bro. thanks for hiding the truth from me and trying to comfort me with that manja-ing. I love you so much. I know that something was not right when my father deliberately pass the junction to our house. “nak pergi amik angah “ they say , funny that my maid was home , why should my brother be at some1 else house. That was when I start thinking. When we pulled over in front of this semi detached house with the lights turned off I was like, “ kanpe ttup lampu? Bukan ke adk aku ade” and my mom said that let me call my fren , but I notice that she kept on holding the phone but not calling any1. Then my father just pop out the fact “ hey this is our new house lah!” . all I can say was “hah” and the only thing I remember saying after that was, “ …” nothing. I only responded to questions asked by my parents and nothing else. I didn’t say anything , not a single word. How does it come to this? I was living large in serdang and now, 2 story house , half the size of my previous one. The only question that I wana ask is how long will it be? 

I need a friend
I never felt like this since you leong left me. This is the exact feeling that im having when you leong left me. helpless, clueless, I feel like suffocating , screaming but no 1 hear you. is this my fault? I need a friend, but who? You leong is buzy, fauzi is in ipoh. I need someone that already know me and understand my life. someone who knows my life journey from the very beginning. Someone like you leong and fauzi. Who? I alone in this empty world. no one care about me and no one want to.

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

its mY worSt nOightmare!!!!

Its not happening!
Its not happening!
Its not happening!!!!!!!!!

no wonder la paper physics today senang mcm makan kacang !!
it seems that ade udang sbalek mee udang! 
ok cite dye cam nie,
i was having my physics paper this morning and to my surprise the Q was not that hard. 
i answered it all with ease. 
then just as i tot that evryting gona be fine today, its not
me mom called n she was all happy n jolly at 1st then 
come the utterly bad news for me.
she said 
"along sory la ibu n baba tak boleh amik la khamis nie....."
i was like 
"hAh! y lah"
then she told me that rizqan n athyna are having their exam this week n angah got olahraga thingy, 
HUUUUAAaaaa! i wana go home. i dont wana stay here !
my mom told me that they can only pick me up on saturday 
paling lame pun hari jumaat budak2 lain da clear. x kan la kene tgu sni sampai sabtu. 
no matter how , i will go home on thursday.
note it!

but how yah? ;p

you lOsing Me DeAr =(

long distance relationship, huh 
people says it suppose to be more romantic then normal relationship.
im stating to doubt that. 
apple pie, bile awak kate awak nak saya, saya pun time tu tengah mencari jalan untuk amik awak 
jadi saya punye . awak kate awak sayang saya, tapi mane bukti nyer? saya dah bg full komitmen da. 
saya prasan yg awak nie careerist , orng yg pentingkan life kerjaya more then life as a human being
but saya x kish sbb , at first. now, awak nak text saya pun shari skali je. saya bukan nak text awak 24 jam 
tapi saya nak awak jd part of my life n part of myself. saya nak awak jd tmpat say mengadu, tmpat saye luahkan sumenye, tapi, since awak lebih pentingkan bende lain so saya x nak la kacau . 

saya tau , saya slalu kacau awak nak study , saya mintak maaf sgt. tp org lain pun study jugak takde pulak diorang buzy je setiap mase. sometimes tu saya tgu awak msj or kol saya sampai 3 o 4pg sbb awak yg kate lepas habis keje awak nak text saye, nak kol saye , tapi. 
bau pun xdak!
saya dah mule rase mcm saye nie single . n sory la if awak prasan saye flirt dgn kwn2 saye dlm fb. tu sume sbb saye bosan . dah awak buzy sgt seye msj x blaz.
baby, b bukan nak demand sgt tpi i need to know that i m the 1 that u r looking for. baby i x nak salah pilih lagi. 

i nak str8 4ward la nan u , i ade huge crush nan some1 else. dye kawan i , i anggap dye as my best fren. bby tau x, b4 i met dye, i dop b lonely gile as if b tgl kat dlm the deepest hell sensowang. after b kenal dye, omg , bby dengar lagu fireworks ketty perry en mcm tu la prasaan b tau after knal dye. mcm ade fireworks dlm bdn. tp bby,  dye just my fren m dats y i cant go further with him. dye cute, dye funny, dye active, dye baik n the best thing is dye childish mcm b and pendek mcm b haha.tapi dye study jauh kat ipoh but we still contact n bile contact tu best sgt. bby, if dye bg diri i ase mcm ade fireworks, bby tau x bby wat b rase mcm mane? u give the chance to fall in love again. b4, i was so damn fuck of with love but with u bby, b ase urrrrgh! suke sgt! it has been a long time since i said I LOVE YOU. and I DO LOVE YOU SAYANG. i just dont know u ckp u love i tu jujur or smate2 x nak bg i marah. =( i bg tau so that u phm2 la sndri. n i at the same time syg u as much as i like the person who i hv crush with. baby, if u prolonged this situation, im afraid ....
 ntah la bby ,

You are losing me my dear