Saturday, March 5, 2011

wheel of FATE

 life is full of surprise

How does it come to this?
Indeed that you can never predict the future and the only sane thing to do is plan for the worst. Because when the worst comes, you must be prepare both physically and most important, mentally. I just finished my foundation studies in kedah last Thursday, and the excitement was unimaginable. I was so excited that I packed all my things a week before the final exam. I can’t wait to get back home, having a nice long hot shower, sleep in that cold bed in my cozy little room and sleeping while listening to the radio on my laptop, online and chattin til late night. Ha ha. I cant believe that I was so naïve to expect that nothing has change back home. The confident and normal look In my parents faces was convincing enuf that I know back home nothing has change. However, I couldn’t help but noticed that they kept on saying that I shouldn’t be so excited to go back home. Anyone that has been away for 1 year will most probably be missing home so much and eagerly to get home. But my parents played it cool and slow. So as my brother. I asked him about school. About how does he go to school every day, then he said the same bus of course. Nice one bro. thanks for hiding the truth from me and trying to comfort me with that manja-ing. I love you so much. I know that something was not right when my father deliberately pass the junction to our house. “nak pergi amik angah “ they say , funny that my maid was home , why should my brother be at some1 else house. That was when I start thinking. When we pulled over in front of this semi detached house with the lights turned off I was like, “ kanpe ttup lampu? Bukan ke adk aku ade” and my mom said that let me call my fren , but I notice that she kept on holding the phone but not calling any1. Then my father just pop out the fact “ hey this is our new house lah!” . all I can say was “hah” and the only thing I remember saying after that was, “ …” nothing. I only responded to questions asked by my parents and nothing else. I didn’t say anything , not a single word. How does it come to this? I was living large in serdang and now, 2 story house , half the size of my previous one. The only question that I wana ask is how long will it be? 

I need a friend
I never felt like this since you leong left me. This is the exact feeling that im having when you leong left me. helpless, clueless, I feel like suffocating , screaming but no 1 hear you. is this my fault? I need a friend, but who? You leong is buzy, fauzi is in ipoh. I need someone that already know me and understand my life. someone who knows my life journey from the very beginning. Someone like you leong and fauzi. Who? I alone in this empty world. no one care about me and no one want to.

No comments:

Post a Comment