near fUture

my life as an adult & father ;D

Even though I might be 19 but having a vision of what I will do and what kind of life will I be living in the future is not something odd for some1 like me to be tinkin about. Ever since Im able to imagine I can’t stop imagining about my life after I graduate or during my work life.

My first goal is to have my own car well of course that is when I still living wit my parents. My dream car will be of course BMW. Who wouldn’t want a BMW rite but its only a dream car. My first car is goin to be the brand new civic. I love the aerodynamic of the car. A chrome blue-black coloured civic is da boom!

My second goal Is to buy either a luxury apartment high above the sky or at least a land property situated ontop of a hill that overlooking the kl city. i always love the scenery of a city during the nyte, I want to make sure dat if I were to have a landed property it must have a gym and a pool. But most importantly my house will have a super cool bar and the space will be huge enough to host a monthly weekend partay! Haha

My third goal is , since I have taken oath haha not to get married, so once I have a nice 6 figure income in my savings im gona adopt a little cute n handsome baby boy ;) why baby boy? Well simply because I am a boy and I know what the needs if a little young boy. He will have an undying love and care from me. he will go to the best of school, dance classes, music classes, martial arts and anything dat he want. I might spoil him yes, but I know he will love me as much as I love him koz he is my son ! ;) I want to name my son Daniel Zachery Amierul shabir hahaha panjang skit kot but I love Zachery . his frens will call him “Z” and that is soo cool. I will buy him his first car when he reach 18 along together with his 1^st motorcycle if he want to. I wana see him going to the club in his dope ride haha. What a cool father I’ll be rite YEAH! 

stagEs

sad, wana cry, down.
this is wat i felt when i was watching a youtube post in my cousin's fb page.

this short video clip is about the stages that exist in a relationship. i promise u that whoever yg tgk video ni yg pnh ade relationship for sure can relate to it someway. 

for me, i totally 1000% can relate to tis vid. its the same proses i've been tru when i was in high skol.

the saddest moment for me is when the guy read anniversary note from his gf but then he has already broke up. 

i still have a jurnal wich is soo dear to me. 

my most priceless possession.

much more priceless then my armani bags, gucci jackets, domanchi shoes

and any other stuff.

even if u give me 1 million $ i wouldnt gave it to u

simply bkoz it is a memory n u cant buy 

some1 memory could u?

after watching this vids i look back at the jurnal and read it again n 

i swear , no matter how much i've read it, i still lauf at the jokes dat he wrote.

it just amazed me how much dat he knew me. 

no matter how far we r after tiz, our memory will forever live. 

for those who r in a relationship rite now n r in stge 4 or 5,

please i beg u ! do something , wake up!! 

save ur relationship. 

u deserve it.

:-)

beR - anGan

AAAaaaahhh~

Finally, I got a music player in my blog HAHA thanks to

Farien Damien , without whom, my blog would hv still be plane damn BOooorRIIING.

Anyway, I’ve been away for quite sometime. Actually bkoz I don’t know wat to update 2 u lots but now with the ever so fabulous Norah Jones playing in the background, I just felt I wana express something here about what I hv been tru tis past few days.

Ever since the fashion show, I just sat home n went to my Dr. appointment once a week. I thought that I would be damn bored at home but actually It kept me thinkin especially everynyte b4 I went 2 sleep. I think about tons of things , love, life , career to name a few. But most of the nyte I dono y but I kept tinkin about my love n career life.

LOVE –

Well we all know wat love is rite. Some say love is blind koz everybody fall in love wit some1 dat to us, they don’t deserve each other but hey , love works in a mysterious way so don’t bother figuring it out . Just enjoy it while it is still there. Anyway, what kept me wake up is the thought that I wana fall in love again. I tink It has been so long since I give some1 my love n I know it is time to gv it. I know how special my love is. Only some1 with a true heart may hv it n I tink I’ve found dat some1 but im kinda afraid to , u know, approach dye. Haha malu konon! Anyway, im still tinkin of giving out clues b4 I pop out da question which I tink is a good way otherwise if I just ask point blank “do u wana be my forever after?” uiiiish! Kejo giloo. So for now, im gona try my best to make sure dat 1 day , me n u together 4 eternity ;-)

CAREER –

*sigh . im 19 soon 20 , 21 , tick tock tick tock the clock is tickin and the graveyard is callin. Hahaha gile dowh! Soon I’ll have to work n earn a living. kawen ?  owhhh! Nonono not for me, I have tekad x nak kawen. But since I love children so im planning when I hv a luxurious living im gona adopt a baby boy whom I will love n care forever. Y baby boy? Simply bkoz sng jage n I want him to have evrytin dat I don’t hv during my zaman kanak2. Im gona make sure hes cute hot n hensem, lots of gurls or boys(u nvr know riiite hahaha) chasin after him. im gona send him to the best of school and give him dance lesson, music, evrytin he wants! Yes im gona spoil him bkoz i know dat my son will nvr betray me even if he is spoil. whatever hes decision ,I’ll support him all the way trough. I wana be the best father any1 could ever wish for. WAAAH! Besar cite2 kau !! hahahah graduate pon belom kaaan~!! Haha . Im gona buy a luxury 2 story apartment, or at least buy a house kat atas bukit yg overlooking kl AAawwwwwh~ wat a view!! Just me n my son , my maid n my butler. 

p/s : x salah ade cite2 besau kan ;) 

fiRe-w0rk!!! ;)

helo helo helo ! 

hahaha im soooo hapy today that i feel like i wana fly off 2 the sky n be free damn! im feelin fantastic

so ok, sbb nyer is , 

today kan ade fashion show kat pavi tu so i went there with

the 1 n only most handsome , hunky, tall Beautiful friend i've ever had since high school 

ijat khabir.

so mlm ni nak story2 la pasal date* ngn dye ceh hahah marah budak tu kang! ;p

anyway nie story dye, ok so kitorang plan today nak grak kul 2

the plan was dat im gona pick him at his house but how da hell in this universe boleh kete i wat hal 

harini gak so i pun klamkabut kol dye cakap 

"ijat ko naik tren pai bts aku jumpe ko kat sane"

dye pon ok je, so kite jumpe la kat bts ~

hualaweeeeh!!! dari jauh terase bahang hot-ness dye tu.

 mentang2 model so body dye mmg cyes sexy dgn shape mcm tu. 

i pun sbb kn kwn n da lme giler x hang out so butekan je la mate n hati hoho

since da lame x jumpe la kan so agak awkward la 1st tyme td 

we both were tryin to hide sometin , 

well actly , i was tryin to control n hiding2

but then after a while huaaa baru ku tau mamat ni wat pe slame ni. 

caye x caye, ijat da social .

i mean hes a human being . 

hes a kl people. 

hes a celebrity of his own world. 

gosh there r tons of things dat i know about him just now

maybe the fact dat we both very social, 

we drink, we party , we clubbing 

so i tink dat he found me more approachable then the rest of his frens. 

i tink la kan. 

anywaym back to da story, then from bts kitowang grak hang tuah then jalan kaki pai ts

yg best nyer ble da sampai ts si ijat ni plak ckp 

"weh aku pnt r, berpeloh 1 bdn"

-,-

i was like ijat ! u r mr mucle wat hapen!?

hohoho

but then nvrmind kitowang g toilet jap dye nak betolkan make up dye

hahaha

then grak pavi. 

sampai pavi i told him dat i wana blanje him makan 

bkoz he just got accepted to become a flight attendent dat day so 

nak celebrate la kan

then 

i tanye dye 

"ijat ko nak mkn ape?ak blanje ko" then as usual

they will always said suke aty aku x kisah

=,= come on la nak blanje kot

then after pikir3 ingat nak bwk la dye mkn kat ben's TETAPI!

haaar dye punye down-to-earth la dye kate x nak koz mahal. 

for me, i dnt really care about the price instead

he wana go for kfc so i pun ok la jom la kfc pun kfc la aku yg blanje 

hohoho

then smpai kfc, i ordered a huge order just for him.

so tgh2 mkn tu kitorang borak la psl kesusahan dye nak jd flight attendant 

peerh punye la payah n strict giler 

kire i respect him n proud dat he made it. 

GOOD JOB MA MAN! 

tyme nie jugak la dye cite kat i psl dye yg i cam wow! gak la

koz dulu malaikat je skang huaaa, malaikat pun kalah hahaha  

sume3 la dye cite.

then after mkn3 all dat i bwk dye g tmpat keje i 3rd floor, blanje minum 

kami pun duk3 refill2 pai la kul 7 grak la pvi tgk show tu.

well,

just as i suspected dat its gona be boring. 

its damn boring.

1- to many people

2- its not private or exclusive

3- too damn many people

4- the model got covered in all black skin suit

WTH!!

me n ijat went out rite after the men collection. 

damn bored. 

so kitorang pun balek la afterwards. 

well, otw nak blek tu adela kan borak2 mcm3 kan 

but x kan nak ctew sni hoho

mane leh! kawan tuuh! 

i love my friends. 

so anyway, i had a blast hang out with him n 

he is now officially will be the 1 i call 1st to hang out with next tyme

hoho 

love yah!

-no tiTle -

title-less post .
y?recen
bekoz no word can simplify wat im about to story3 tonite. huhu

since it has been awhile so , there r actly plenty to talk about

but

im gona stick to the important 1 only.

whch is abt me 

as ALWAYS 

hohoho.

anyway,

recently, well not recently but last week,

i went shoppin at Celio my fav boutique

and, they invite me to a fashion show.

their brand launchin for exact. 

they told me that its the 1st tyme that they r hosting a fashion show 

anywhere in asia n the fact dat its in malaysia just make me proud to be malaysian hoho

so this thrusday, im goin to that fashion show at pavi center court ,7pm

to all my frens who dont hv invites, dont worry, u still can come and c it from outside the court. 

;p

anyway,

since i got the invite, i went shoppin for some spring n summer collection . i love spring , bkoz their fashion is just so relax n u dont hv to tink about it much. not like any other season where it almost took me 30 mnt to figure out what to wear evrday . 

but spring uh~

anytin could do. 

about my partner, im takin the famous ijat khabir, 

my high skol fren. 

i was goin to ask meor but since i have issue wit him 

so, 

there u go.

im tinking after tht fashion show, im goin to top hat koz its damn early to go home at 10pm rite so 

mind as well enjoy the nyte. 

anyway,

( y do i keep sayin dat word)

huuurm wat next ,

owh yeah!

i met with some cute guys. 

hoho

this 1 guy aclty a boy, a 15 y.o boy

he is just so cute i cyesly couldnt take my eye off him. hes been workin part time at my place n thanks god! he  is placed under my care n guidance. 

he is damn cute he remind me of you leong. 

i really like the way he move. he got that X-factor on him . 

u know,he always running when he is workin. i mean, literally running 

i was like, "hey ah boi, hold ur horses, relax a bit, no rush, the guest arent goin anywhere"

hahaha so cute. 

soo lokin 4ward to c him again. 

;)

it maDe me THINK!

there must be at least a moment in ur life where u pause for a while and start to think wat will happen in the future be given ur status quo. i for 1, am currently in that situation. 

i've been thinking about it all day rite from the moment i woke up till now and the fact that i've got no1 to tell makes me even eager to write it in my blog so that my famly and frens especially wancho, i know u r reading tis, u always do. ;) 

the question that i've been askin my self throughout da day is "wat if?" . 

what if , for those who know the situation that im in rite now, what if, its get worst?

what if, my dad, couldn't take it anymore?

what if, something happen to me dad?

could i step up to be the head of the famly as i should be?

i've been finding a way out of this and i notice that there r none. 

i could either, dont tink of it, which is damn F* impossible

or

solve it in any way that i can. 

ever since i realized my situation, i began to be more less communicative as i used to. 

i dont talk to people much, 

although i m in desperate need of some1 to talk to. 

i go out often by MYSELF. 

watching movies by myself, 

eating out by myself, 

shopping by myself, 

everytin.

i found myself less attracted to people,

only those group of people that i can trust n known for some time that i talk to.

i listen to jazz musics without any logical explanation.

evrytin is because 

WHAT IF?

wheel of FATE

 life is full of surprise

How does it come to this?

Indeed that you can never predict the future and the only sane thing to do is plan for the worst. Because when the worst comes, you must be prepare both physically and most important, mentally. I just finished my foundation studies in kedah last Thursday, and the excitement was unimaginable. I was so excited that I packed all my things a week before the final exam. I can’t wait to get back home, having a nice long hot shower, sleep in that cold bed in my cozy little room and sleeping while listening to the radio on my laptop, online and chattin til late night. Ha ha. I cant believe that I was so naïve to expect that nothing has change back home. The confident and normal look In my parents faces was convincing enuf that I know back home nothing has change. However, I couldn’t help but noticed that they kept on saying that I shouldn’t be so excited to go back home. Anyone that has been away for 1 year will most probably be missing home so much and eagerly to get home. But my parents played it cool and slow. So as my brother. I asked him about school. About how does he go to school every day, then he said the same bus of course. Nice one bro. thanks for hiding the truth from me and trying to comfort me with that manja-ing. I love you so much. I know that something was not right when my father deliberately pass the junction to our house. “nak pergi amik angah “ they say , funny that my maid was home , why should my brother be at some1 else house. That was when I start thinking. When we pulled over in front of this semi detached house with the lights turned off I was like, “ kanpe ttup lampu? Bukan ke adk aku ade” and my mom said that let me call my fren , but I notice that she kept on holding the phone but not calling any1. Then my father just pop out the fact “ hey this is our new house lah!” . all I can say was “hah” and the only thing I remember saying after that was, “ …” nothing. I only responded to questions asked by my parents and nothing else. I didn’t say anything , not a single word. How does it come to this? I was living large in serdang and now, 2 story house , half the size of my previous one. The only question that I wana ask is how long will it be? 

I need a friend

I never felt like this since you leong left me. This is the exact feeling that im having when you leong left me. helpless, clueless, I feel like suffocating , screaming but no 1 hear you. is this my fault? I need a friend, but who? You leong is buzy, fauzi is in ipoh. I need someone that already know me and understand my life. someone who knows my life journey from the very beginning. Someone like you leong and fauzi. Who? I alone in this empty world. no one care about me and no one want to.